It has been a few days. I have been sick. I hurt my back actually. I am better now still a little sore.
Do you ever get this feeling like you are totally in the wrong place? Like there is a bigger and better something you are suppose to be doing? I do! I just done know what it is. Or where I should be. I thought this was the job for me but now almost a year later I know it isn't really. So if this isn't then where is? And will I know it when I find it. I want something that allows me to be creative. Something that is a challenge. I truly want my own store. I would live to buy my Aunt's bookstore. I would totally redo it. I would add some little things here and there to sell also. I want to learn to make candles also. To scent them and everything. Then there are the rugs I make and the bags I make. I keep getting told to sell them. I think I will try to make them and to sell them. Who knows what will come out of. Maybe I will get out of this job.

ALSO!!! BIG NEWS !!!
I have now officially made it 2 weeks smokw free.!!! It is getting better . Now I just have to work on the weight I gained back from quitting.

Another Day

I just read a very good article on Blogging at work.
It made me start to think about what is the policy here for stuff like that. Then I thought if some one can violate every single end user policy we have then I think I am safe. Any way you may find it interesting to read what has happened to other people in this case. I dont mention anyone by name and I keep myself anonymous so I feel thats one of the safest way. All though I hate my job there isnt a whole lot of bad stuff I can write about my boss because he is an ok guy. I only hate my job because of the hours and commute, well, and there are some people in the office that is a pain.
Anyway lets get off that subject and on with another. HAPPY ST.PATRICK'S DAY!! I love St. Pats day. I always have. When I was a kid my mom would take food coloring and color our hair green for the day. This was before they made rules about it being a distraction. I usually always put my girls hair up in green bows and everything. I had to be in the office early so I am not sure if they got dressed in green or not. I got up early and put on the Cornbeef anf cabbage for dinner. I guesse I will never know what green beer taste like. Oh well.

Angry and Lonely

I feel right now like I am one of the loneliest people in the entire universe! I can't go talk with friends because I no longer smoke and they all do so guess where they are? Then last night I get into it with the hubby and all I really wanted was a hug arms around me telling me it was going to be ok. No what does he do? He wants to fight and play that dumb playstation. He is never up past 9:00 if it is for me but last night he wanted to throw a fit and he was up til 12:00. Then in the mean time my sister calls telling me my parents house is going to cave in and what am I going to do about it. Then she wanted to know if I had all arrangements made for my mother to get to the hospital. I am so uptight I feel like I can explode! Between this job I despise and every aspect of my life going to crap! Then to make it all better (LOL and sarcasms) the lady's planned my enrichment retreat in another secret meeting they had on Sunday. They never said they were going to do this. They never checked with me about anything. They made all the plans and yet again didn't include me. I am DONE!!!!! This is the second time I have been this angry over something they did. I think I am going to resign. I am going to go to church still but I am no longer going to go to the women's class. I am going to leave and let the husband bring the kids home I think. I feel like I just got outted in every aspect of my life! I don't feel like I belong anywhere anymore. And I hate this. I really do. I don't know what to do about it. I feel backed in a corner and helpless. But so angry I feel like I can beat a herd of wild bores to death with my own 2 hands. Why do I feel like this? If anyone reads this please put in your 2 cents. I can use them.

I wasn't sure of this!

I really wasn't sure I was going to make it. This weekend was so tuff. I was harsh with the kids at times. I know I snapped at them. But they are such wonderful kids. My oldest said "Mom I was reading your pamphlet from the NO-SMOKING place and it says to sip ice water." Then she hands me a glass of it and says "So Sip! And quit your crabbing "
I thought it was so funny because for one she took the time to read the pamphlet to see what was going on and for two it worked. Children are so amazing, or atleast mine are to me. The things I work so hard to protect them from are the things they will dive into understand and help with. I always said before I wanted to quit smoking but I never wanted to be grouchy or impatient with my kids. I never wanted to snap at them because I was having problems dealing with a self Inflicted problem. But the truth of the matter is out of everyone in my life I think they helped the most. It was them saying it will be ok and them trying to understand that makes everything more gratifying that I am now a NON-SMOKER!
My hisband on the other hand just pretended to not care if I quit or didnt. He just acts like it is no big deal. I know he truly wants me too. I really wish he would say Good JOB! or something. I always make a big deal out of his feets. Although there has been some grouchy spells and he has gotten some of the directed toward him. Well I will keep everyone posted on how I am doing.

I DID IT!!!

I truly think this time I have done it !!!!!

I am a NON-Smoker. Today at 9:00 am I went in to the Stop-Smoking clinic and for the grande price of $90 I got my 2 ears slightly poked for a few seconds and the gift of being smoke-free. I truly dont want a cigerette at all. I felt a little edgy coming into work and well.. to be honest I had a slight anxiety attach and almost went home instead. But here I am at almost 3:30 a total of 8 hours since my last one and I am OK! I think this is truly going to work. The real test will be this weekend with my family. If I can get through that then I can get through anything.
The procedure is called Auricular Therapy, and here is a link to there site. http://www.lc-stopsmoking.com/

Been away for awhile

I havent wrote in so long I almost forgot how to. So much has changed.Where do I start .... The job I thought I wanted come to find out ahh, I really dont want it. That my family has went back to church. At that time I believe it was more like me and the kids went and I wanted the hubby to come. Well he has. As a matter of fact he was babtised on Saturday February 26th. It was one of the happiest days. everyone from the church made it so fabilouse. They all showed up and gave there support, we had atleast 4 sets of missionaries, and my mother in law came.

I dont remember my babtism. One thing I will always remember about his was how small he looked in the font. almost like a child. Then after word he glowed like nothing I have ever seen before. It was a truly amazing experience. I am so glad we got to share it as a family. The kids enjoyed it as well.