Self-esteem

Self-esteem

The letter in this page kills me! It could have been written maybe by a future version of my son. I am always worried about the girls and there self -esteem so they wont turn to a boy for it... I forgot about my boy. And what he needs to feel self worth. The other day I had set him down and asked him why he was doing some of the things he was. He said "I don't Know". Just like always. Then he said "Mommy, when I am in my room and you walk by and I say something you never stop and talk to me or act like you hear me how come? How come you don't stop down and talk to me?"
I felt like my heart was ripped out. I honestly dont hear him most of the time. I guess I walk through so caught up in what I am doing I dont listen to that small voice saying " Hey, Hey Mommy we need to talk". I have noticed lately my sons eyes. When you look into them you see allot of pain, hurt, and confusion. I have noticed when we are doing something as a family he sits back and watches sometimes. All this has been concerning me for a very long time. But I havent known what to do.
Since then I began walking down the hall at night when I get home a little slower. And not waiting for him to say something without going in there and hugging him and saying I love you How was your day. Then I go change my cloths from work and get confortable. I also began holding him on my lap a little more and talking to him. It amazes me that he is this age already. How did all 3 of my wonderful children get to be these ages. I have rushed by all the great stuff without ever realizing it. It has all been jumbled with cleaning the house and going to work, Paying the bills, and which activity do the kids have tonight. Which this is another subject I will get to soon.
This is the real wake up I have needed. Between the things I had experienced and reading the letter above I was like WOW We have to make changes. Of course, my husband does not understand. He thinks everything needs to be handled with firmness and strickness. And I caint handle that wat any more. I am trying to pray for the both of us to get a true grasp on what each one our kids needs. How do they each need to be loved to feel loved. To round them up for there future. We have to be on the right track I can feel it. I believe the Church has had allot to do with that. The values they have set for families to live by helps allot. The Family home evenings, and family prayer. The talks from the leaders about cherishing and honoring our children. All these great people and the powerful talks given by them really help you to think about where your priorites are.
No I am not a stay at home Mom. I work. Until last week I worked a 40 to 50 hour work week. My husband about the same. It has taken us a long time to get into the comfortable routine we have now. I get home later so he cooks. He usually takes kids to activities and when I get home I change then I go and sometimes relieve him so he can go home and relax a little. We have set allot of compromises this way. I dont like to fold laundry he doesn't want to run up and down the stairs to do it. So we taught our oldest daughter how to and I do the dishes. LOL. Then I pay her an allowance for all the hard work. It all blends out. We all have parts of the house work we are responsible for. And we all have things we have to do to keep things going. Each child has a chore list and so do us parents. One thing we over looked is listening to each other and talking to each other nicely. WE have allot of contention in our home. Allot of screeming.Along with allot of pain from it all. It took my 7 year old son telling me I walk by his door to fast to hear him to make me realize we need to fix some problems.